How to Get a Micromanager Off Your Back

I Hate My Boss! How to Handle the 11 Worst Bosses

Hate is a strong word, but maybe you do feel like you hate your boss. Here's what to do if you are struggling to communicate or be heard by your bad boss.

Photo Collage by Aliya Kamalova

If you've ever called your mom after a long day of work and uttered these four words—"I hate my boss"—you are surely not alone.

Hate is a strong word, so let's say you dislike your boss—maybe immensely so. It's the worst to feel overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or simply unheard at work. Having a "bad boss" can leave you feeling de-motivated, stressed, depressed, and, frankly, pretty hopeless.

Bad bosses are intrinsically tied to employee unhappiness, high turnover, and the quality of work produced in a workplace. In a Gallup State of the Workplace study, half of all respondents from the United State had quit their jobs at one point in their careers due to one person: their bad boss.

Don't throw in the towel, though. A new job isn't always the answer. Bad managers are a fact of life.

There are certain ways to get through to your difficult boss—to communicate your frustrations and build anew. There might even be certain situations in which your boss isn't bad—they are simply tough—and you might grow from the learning experiences they are offering you (no matter how unappealing they may seem).

Whatever your problem is with the boss you hate, we have you covered. We have mapped out a few common gripes that employees have with their bosses—and how to tackle them head-on with some honest communication.

Want to jump straight to your least-favorite boss? Here's the list:

Bad Boss #1: The Micromanager
Bad Boss #2: The Negative Leader
Bad Boss #3: The Phones It In Boss
Bad Boss #4: No Empathy Boss
Bad Boss #5: Blame Game Boss
Bad Boss #6: The Clone Boss
Bad Boss #7: No Respect Boss
Bad Boss #8: The Jealous Boss
Bad Boss #9: The Plays Favorites Boss
Bad Boss #10: The Passive-Aggressive Boss
Bad Boss #11: The Big Brother Boss

Bad Boss #1: The Micromanager

They will probably say to you, day one, "I am not a micromanager." I had a boss who "wasn't a micromanager," which was weird because he emailed me and texted me all throughout the weekend, sent me one-liner emails, and nitpicked everything I did. When I asked for a sit-down for him to lay out exactly what he needed, he told me—again—"I'm not a micromanager." Okay, but you are a micromanager, so...

How to Handle a Micromanager:

Before writing off your boss as a micromanager, consider this. Are there things you need to learn from your boss? Are there elements of your job about which she is constantly correcting you? With new management, it is easier to have a conversation in order to reduce micromanagement.

Take some time to make sure you understand all the parameters of your job. You might even go so far as to create an outline of your job responsibilities, produce templates for certain projects, and set up weekly meetings over your first 90 days.

Always ask questions and always over-communicate with a micromanager—especially when dealing with tight deadlines. By allowing your boss a glimpse into the details of the work you are doing, you might assuage their impulse to get involved unnecessarily.

If your boss won't stop micromanaging you, it might be time to have a tougher conversation. Before speaking to your boss, take a moment to put yourself in her shoes. Is she micromanaging due to insecurity or fear? If you can pinpoint why the micromanagement is happening, you might find better solutions.

Having a frank, honest conversation is the best way to tackle any management issues—head-on. And guess what? Bosses are works in progress, too. They might not admit it, but critical feedback is (and should be!) an important element of any manager's career.

What to Say to a Micromanager:

"I know that [XYZ Project] is important to [COMPANY] and I am very serious about doing the best work. However, your emails and phone calls repeatedly take me away from the work at hand. Can we create a weekly meet-up or daily email where I can fill you in on progress and receive feedback from you?"

Bad Boss #2: The Negative Leader

It's not easy to be the boss.

No matter how big or small your company is, there is likely some pending bottom line resting on their shoulders. If their team isn't performing and they are taking flack from higher-ups, you're probably going to hear about it.

There are times when a boss has every right to be negative. If your team screwed up a major project (and—let's face it—we usually know when we are the guilty party) then there is naturally going to be some negative feedback.

But what happens when you have a boss who is relentlessly negative?

How to Handle a Negative Boss:

It is extremely contagious and it takes hold inside everyone's heads. Counteracting negativity can be as easy as letting your boss know that it is unhelpful to employee morale. Your boss might be very receptive to this head's-up. Once I was told by a friend that I was skewing on the negative, and it was such a wake-up call.

If your feedback isn't sticking, consider counteracting negativity with—you guessed it—positivity!

Take the initiative to let your team they are doing a great job, to highlight (and share) successes, and to counter negative comments with positive ones. It is important that you do not take this approach passive-aggressively—make sure your positive reinforcement is coming from an actual place of positivity.

What to Say to the Negative Leader:

"I know you are frustrated with [XYZ Situation], but I think the team's morale could be improved with more positive reinforcement."

"I know that [Project XYZ] didn't go off quite as planned, but I think that [Positive Element] was a success and we can build on that in the future."

Bad Boss #3: The "Phones It In" Boss

This is a frustrating one. I consider a good boss to be someone who has lived and learned from their own experiences.

As a result, they remember what it was like to not be the boss. The boss who says one thing—only to do a completely different thing—is a puzzling animal, indeed. In addition, to add more fuel to your fire, this type of boss usually takes credit for the final product.

This is the kind of boss who "phones it in," has no idea of what goes on, and never rolls up their own sleeves to get in on the action. However, that doesn't stop them from telling you that what you're doing is wrong. This is the boss who is never in the office. This is the boss who assigns you one day to complete a project that requires two weeks to finish.

How to Handle a "Phones It In" Boss:

The best leaders are built in the trenches.

They are the leaders who are involved in the everyday. In this way, they know how to delegate best, when the workload is too heavy, and when to back off a bit. Having a leader who is unwilling to do any of this—well, that is unacceptable.

This is a tougher conversation to have, mostly because this type of boss is likely deeply out of touch. They might not even know you that well.

In some cases, especially on a larger team working under this boss, you might have taken on some of the work they should be doing—you might be the de facto leader at the moment.

This might be a conversation to have with your boss or with human resources. Being blatantly taken advantage of is unacceptable—in any work environment, no matter what your job title indicates.

What to Say to a "Phones It In" Boss:

"I have been working extremely hard on [XYZ Project] and I feel that my work has not been adequately recognized. I would like to speak to you about your involvement in [XYZ Project]."

As mentioned, you might want to take an issue like this to HR. In a confidential setting, you might get a clearer sense of what your boss's role is meant to be in your department.

Bad Boss #4: No Empathy Boss

Have you worked for years under a boss who doesn't even know where you live?

Maybe this sounds silly, but it's important for leaders to lend a listening ear to their employees. There are always going to be unexpected challenges in the workplace—both professionally and personally.

Having a boss who doesn't know their own team, especially in the face of adversity, is going to see inspiration replaced by burnout.

Having (and utilizing) empathy in the workplace is the quickest way to identify and solve problems. If a client rails an employee for a miscommunication, a good boss will empathize and lend the tools an employee needs to get to a point of resolution.

A boss who doesn't take the time to really know her team will see high turnover and low productivity.

What to Say to a No Empathy Boss:

"I have been working at [Company] for [Period of Time]. I would love to get to know you better and to better align our goals. Do you think we could carve out time for a meeting or for a lunch at which to do so?"

Bad Boss #5: Blame Game Boss

Remember "phones it in" boss? Chances are she is also a "blame game" boss.

Under bad leadership, mistakes often happen. When these mistakes happen, coupled with the aforementioned bad leadership, guess who is not going to take the fall?

That's right! The blame game boss is a leader who is quick to place a mistake on somebody's head.

Everybody makes mistakes. No matter how much planning goes into certain projects, mistakes happen. When you add in a bad leadership element, the mistakes are bound to be bigger.

Instead of identifying the root of the problem (i.e., bad management) the "blame game" boss will find the individual responsible—and dole out punishment.

How to Handle the Blame Game Boss:

While dictatorships are always the most fun, nobody wants this kind of boss.

Leadership requires a good amount of respect, but fear-based leadership is never going to work. If you have a boss who constantly blames everyone (and everything) else, you might be able to get them to look deeper to see the real root of the problems, whatever it may be.

Instead of blaming one person for one mistake—one instance at a time—you might try unearthing deeper problems in the office. This could be insufficient onboarding, bad communication, or inefficient delegation.

What to Say to a Blame Game Boss:

"I know that there have been [problems] recently. I think that, instead of blaming [person or thing], we should, as a team, look at our communication issues and problem-solve from there."

Bad Boss #6: The Clone Boss

This is the boss who thinks you should be just like them. In fact, they think every member of the team could do well to be more like them.

The Clone Boss might also have some self-awareness issues to focus on, but that's for another article.

This is fairly common, as a "just like me" bias can play heavily in the interview process. Before you know it, you're surrounded by dozens of people who look the same, act the same, think the same—and who all come into the office equally depressed when their alma mater lost "the big game" over the weekend.

Translation: hell.

Repeat after me: different people work together better. Every company needs a variety of personalities and work habits in order to make the machine work.

Have twenty copies of the same person? It's not going to work. The boss who wants everyone to be like them is a tricky type. In their mind, they are efficient and have worked out the perfect way to do everything—in their own way. Nothing else will do.

How to Handle the Clone Boss:

Well, their way does not need to be your way. if you are producing good, timely work, it's time to speak up to the Clone Boss. Before having this conversation, gather data where you can—especially if you're switching up "their way."

Show how it's efficient, how it activates other employees who are otherwise under-looked, and how it affects the bottom line. Clone bosses tend to love that bottom line.

What to Say to the Clone Boss:

"I understand you have your [Set of Steps] in which you like to work. While I have tried that way, I have seen more success when I work [How I Work]. With my framework, I have been producing excellent work, so I hope you can understand that I would like to continue with this [Set of Steps]."

Bad Boss #7: The No Respect Boss

Remember all of the bosses above?

Well, if you tried having truly constructive conversations with them—only to see the same habits on repeat—you have yourself a No Respect boss.

This is the type of boss who doesn't know your partner's name (despite having met twelve times), who doesn't listen to feedback, who rarely does any work (but always remembers to collect praise for a job well done), and who has no value for input.

How to Handle a No Respect Boss:

You can try speaking frankly to the No Respect boss.

However, your constructive criticism is likely to be ignored or explained away.

In this instance, take care of yourself. The best way to combat the 100 percent No Respect Boss is by empowering yourself by learning new skills, amplifying your existing skills, and by talking to HR about advancing your career.

What to Say to a No Respect Boss:

"Bye."

In short, if you have a really terrible, no-good boss, use it. Channel your frustrations into building your own future. Find a mentor. Pursue your education. Develop brand new skills.

Bad Boss #8: The Jealous Boss

The jealous boss is a boss who—wait, is it your imagination or are they actually jealous of you?

It's hard to believe at first. How could your boss be jealous of you, but it's true. This boss can seem harmless on the surface, but if they're outwardly jealous, imagine the damage they can do.

We have one word for you: stationary.

If you suspect your boss is jealous of you, your work, your talent, and any recognition you might receive, then they might also make sure that you stay stuck where you are.

Jealousy is ugly in all its forms. In most circumstances, we'd recommend ignoring jealousy. At work, jealousy can have far-reaching effects when it's wielded as a weapon against you. When someone with the power and influence to help (or hinder) your career is feeling jealousy towards you, you can't ignore it.

How to Handle a Jealous Boss:

The boss and employee relationship is tricky under normal circumstances. When your boss is jealous of your work, the power dynamic has shifted into a weird limbo spot, but your boss still *technically* has the power. Remember that.

First, recognize that your boss is human, too. Especially early in your career, it can feel absolutely alien to have someone senior directing jealousy-fueled anger at you. They're human. It happens.

Next, according to writer Ruchi Sinha, conduct an audit of your own behavior. Are you adequately sharing credit when it's due? Do you tend to peacock a little bit? Do you share success with your team and everyone who contributed to its success?

A note: We are not encouraging you to bury your success in order to help someone's ego. Instead, we're making sure that you pass yourself through an honest audit before confronting a boss that might be jealous of your success.

When you experience success, especially publicly, make sure to acknowledge any help, support, and guidance you may have received.

What to Say to a Jealous Boss:

We know you want to channel a little Regina George and ask "Why are you so obsessed with me?" but don't do that. Handling a jealous boss is a tricky one.

Make sure they feel that you respect their input, guidance, opportunity, and support.

Here are two situations where you can add a little sparkle to your boss's ego.

When starting a new project:

"I have a few ideas I'd love to run by you to see what you think. I really admired the work you did on a previous project like this one, so I'd love your input if you have the time."

When accepting praise for a job well done:

"I am so excited that we created this success together. I especially want to shine a light on my manager, whose mentorship and guidance have been crucial to my success—and the success of our entire team. I'm so excited to continue working together to achieve more!"

Bad Boss #9: The Plays Favorites Boss

The further we get down the list, the close we feel to grade school. However, just like it was in kindergarten, the "shining star" or teacher's pet thing doesn't necessarily go away.

In fact, many times, these teacher's pet situations start in the hiring process. Affinity bias occurs when a hiring manager sees something in a candidate that feels familiar to them.

They make the hire because the candidate reminds them of themselves. If your boss plays favorites, take a deep breath.

How to Deal With the Plays Favorites Boss:

Our advice with the favorites boss is to keep your head down and continue to do your work. In fact, make sure your work is great. Create and measure your own KPIs and generally keep track of your success.

If you feel you're being passed over for opportunities, speak up. You don't need to accuse your boss of playing favorites. Instead, consider scheduling a review. Communicate what you've achieved so far and work with your boss to identify areas of improvement and/or new opportunities for you.

In a nutshell, get your boss's attention. For whatever reason, they may be distracted by someone else at work. By taking initiative, you might inadvertently call your boss's attention to the fact that others are being passed over.

What to Say to Plays Favorites Boss:

"I enjoy my work here, but I would love more [Opportunity, Projects, Resources] so that I can take my work to the next level with the eventual goal of [Name Your Goal]. I created this report of my biggest accomplishments so far, a few ideas for the next quarter, and actionable ways to achieve big goals over the next year. I'd love to dissect and discuss with you."

Bad Boss #10: The Passive-Aggressive Boss

Okay, who the heck promoted the passive-aggressive boss?

Dealing this a passive-aggressive boss is tricky because the behavior is extremely immature. Beyond that, it feels outrageous to have to call your superior out for acting like a sixth-grader.

Passive-aggressive language is usually used as a means to avoid a direct confrontation while still getting your point across. Even better? If you respond to your boss's passive-aggressive comments, you'll likely meet passive-aggressions lovely cousin, gaslighting.

It's the, "Relax, you're fine," when your boss clearly just negged your work in front of the entire office? Or did they?

How to Deal with the Passive-Aggressive Boss:

Passive aggression is tough to deal with precisely because it's... juvenile.

The way we see it, you have two options:

The first approach is to simply ignore it. Typically, passive-aggressive comments are a sheepish way to say something without actually saying it.

If your boss makes passive-aggressive comments, take note and keep working. Sometimes their input might even be valid—even if the delivery is childish.

What to Say to a Passive-Aggressive Boss

If you don't like this advice, you can also hit it head-on. There is an art to it, though, Since passive-aggressive language is never outwardly aggressive, you can respond at face value.

For example, if your boss says something like this, "Well, it looks like Sandra here finished this five minutes before the deadline!"

Respond by asking your boss specifically why your work is not up to snuff.

Are there mistakes?
Does it differ from the work I normally present?
Should I fix elements of it?
Are you unhappy with this presentation?

This approach basically takes the passive-aggressive behavior and flips it on its head.

If you continue to laugh off (or quietly stew about) your boss's passive-aggressive comments, they'll keep it up.

If you respond with anger or frustration, they might tell you to calm down—and make another passive-aggressive "joke".

However, if you address the remarks with an earnest nature (whether or not you're doing Oscar-worthy acting) your boss might just cut the passive-aggressive nonsense out.

Bad Boss #11: The Big Brother Boss

This kind of boss is becoming "a thing"—especially the bosses who are begrudgingly leading remote teams.

The Big Brother boss is usually also a micromanager. They want to see what you're doing, how you're doing it, how much time you're spending on it, and they want to know where you are.

This is the type of boss who wants a doctor's note when you're out sick. This is the boss who will email you during your PTO. This is the boss who asks for your grandmother's name when Nana passes, then Google her name to make sure there's an obituary.

Okay, is Big Brother boss the worst one? Maybe.

Finally, this is the boss who is only too happy to spend money on time-tracking software to babysit employees. Nobody needs the added stressors of feeling like you're being policed.

How to Deal with Big Brother Boss:

Before dealing with the Big Brother boss, make sure to check your employee handbook and contract.

Some workplaces do have language in contracts that notify employees of monitoring. If you agreed to it, then you'll want to make sure everything you do on your company computer is on the up and up. Yep, that means logging out of your Messages app.

If you did sign a contract agreeing to some monitoring, you'll want to keep your work and personal life completely separate.

If you didn't sign any agreement that mentioned monitoring, you'll still want to err on the side of caution. If you use Slack, Google Workspace, or Microsoft Teams, your boss can see a lot—if they want. This article from The New York Times' Wirecutter details what your boss can see—and when.

Basically, dealing with a Big Brother boss is boring. It's just being well-behaved at work. It means no gossiping on Slack, no sharing company secrets, and imagining that everything you type on your keyboard could be projected on the walls of your boss' office.

Who to Say to Big Brother Boss:

If you don't like the possibility—or probability—of your boss actively spying on you, then it might be time to move on.

We don't think a boss has the right to actively spy on their employees. Don't they have a job to do, too?

When an employee is onboarded at a company, they're not attending grade school nor a daycare center. Every human has a right to their own privacy and safety.

How to Get a Micromanager Off Your Back

Source: https://www.careercontessa.com/advice/i-hate-my-boss/